


Middle of Nowhere

by h0ldthiscat



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 18:37:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5344400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/h0ldthiscat/pseuds/h0ldthiscat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She doesn’t know what to say. She wants to make a joke. She wants to scream. She wants to burrow away somewhere, maybe in the pile of sheets that will have to serve as a bed until she orders a mattress.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Middle of Nowhere

“Um, that one can just go…” She looks around the sparse apartment, wondering if it will ever feel like home. “...Living room.” She points and Bill grunts as he finally puts the box down.

Her arms and back ache from carrying boxes up and down the stairs all day. Her heart aches from the uselessness of it all. She’d been sure she could do this. That she could leave him, that she could take some time. But Bill had shown up for an unexpected visit this morning and her resolve had nearly crumbled. 

Her brother stands in her new apartment, hands on his hips in the gathering darkness. She’s realizing now that there’s not a source of light in the living room and rubs her forehead wearily. 

“Please don’t tell Mom,” she says, sounding like she’s eleven and asking him to keep the secret of where she went instead of Sunday School. 

“I won’t,” he says, but it’s a warning. _If you don’t, I will._ They’ve played this game a thousand times before. “Are you sure this is everything?”

“Yes,” she answers, although she looks around and can hardly believe it herself. There are two boxes in the kitchen, four in the living room, and another four out of sight in the only bedroom. She left all the furniture, except for a rocking chair they’d bought antiquing in North Carolina. “Yes, this is everything.” It has to be now.

There’s a knock on the door and her heart drops; only one person knows she’s here, and she can’t imagine that her brother would take kindly to seeing him again. He’d barely been able to keep the hateful words from flowing this morning when he’d learned that his weekend of anticipated fun with his kid sister would instead be spent moving her into her new apartment. 

“I’ll get it,” she says wearily. 

She opens the door and he is standing there with a slightly battered shopping bag from the outlet mall. “Figured you’d need these,” he says, handing the bag to her. The synthetic rope handles cut into her fingers, already shaky from gripping heavy boxes.

“Thanks,” she says tightly, glancing down inside. Her toothbrush, her robe, a half-used bottle of conditioner, her vibrator, and two bath bombs. She doesn’t know what to say. She wants to make a joke. She wants to scream. She wants to burrow away somewhere, maybe in the pile of sheets that will have to serve as a bed until she orders a mattress. He isn’t wearing a jacket, even though it’s cold outside. He looks so solid beneath the cotton of his dark blue shirt. 

“Well, if you’re ever in the middle of nowhere look me up,” he says, scratching along his jawline and giving her a sad smile. 

“Mulder…” She tries very hard to not laugh or cry. 

“I know, I know.” He waves a hand in defeat and she wants to say _fight for us! Make me stay!_ but she knows that’s not fair. 

“Thank you for letting me find some things out,” she says. Even standing here in this torturous pain is better than standing in her empty apartment, answering to her brother for the last twenty years. 

“If you ever need anything let me know,” he says. “I’ve got a knack for finding things other people don’t seem to think are there.”

Her heart breaks then, really, and she is about to hug him when Bill opens the door. “Dana?”

“I’ll be right there, Bill,” she says testily. 

Even though she’s not looking at him she can see the expression on his face just from the disdain in his tone. “Look, pal, you’ve hurt my sister a lot, why don’t you just leave her alone.”

“Bill.”

“No, Scully, he’s right,” Mulder sighs.

“He’s _not_ \--”

“You’re a grown woman, Dana, you don’t have to--”

“Goddammit Bill, treat me like one!” she snaps suddenly. “I will be there in a _minute._ ”

Her brother stomps inside and slams the door. 

“Sorry,” she says, and then she cries, one hand wrapped around her waist, the other covering her face.

He hugs her so tightly that she breaks and then he puts her back together again. When her whimpers have quieted and her body has stilled, he kisses her softly on the forehead like in the old days, and squeezes her arm, and says he’ll see her soon. She is left wondering what on earth she expects to find when everything is walking away down the hall.


End file.
